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neoputa:

i have unlimited texting and i only text 3 people ever i think my phone company looks at my bill and just laughs

(via monotonepeach)

sorry:

shopping for clothes would be a lot more fun if i had a thinner body and a fatter wallet

(Source: sorry, via monotonepeach)

roseisreturning:

mermaids don’t have thigh gaps but they can still lure men to their deaths

(Source: rosetylerful, via monotonepeach)

lets-go-lesbos:

I never actually say hi to my friends, I just make creepy faces at them from a distance.

(via monotonepeach)

malcolmross:

dnt let anyone with bad eyebrows tell u shit about life

(via monotonepeach)